What had happened was..
by G-Rob
(CJ's note: Picture courtesy AlCan'tHang, face blurred to protect the guilty.)
The whole Bahamas thing is fuzzy. I remember slamming Al to the floor at one point, just before I wrestled with his wife at the bar. That was just before I passed out.....in the poker room....on the floor. Which led to 4 hours of near puking on the beach Saturday...which led to Al massaging his netherparts with silverware under the watchful eyes of the casino. Friday night was ugly and Saturday barely better. Let just say this, G-Rob can't hang.
For a recap of our getting shut down by the Bahamian gaming commission see Gambling Blues. BG took notes and remembers much more than I do. So we'll let him re-cap most of the not poker crap. Al took plenty of pictures but hopefully many of those will be censored...I have a secret identity to protect. I only remember the cards and because this is, sort of, a poker blog...we'll just stick with that.
First night it took forever to get a table. The second flight of the big tourney eventually thinned out and the high-roller games were just getting started. This was, as Otis says, the first time they've ever had poker in the Bahamas, so the poker room was actually just a converted ballroom about 12 hours walk from the casino floor. (Unfotunately it was also 1 minute walk from a bar where Al and I drank so much SoCo the bartender had to leave for 20 minutes on Saturday to go searching for another bottle). Because the room was new, the only poker players here were in town for the tournament and I figured they'd be strong. Fortunately, at the low limits, they weren't.
Our table had $100.00 min/max buy in and 1/2 blinds. I chipped up early with a few steals and a couple of stupid overbets on quality hands. Then I became a blogger. I showed down the hammer at least 3 times and knew my steals were gone. G-Rob would always be called now...which turned out to be a very bad thing.
BG already wrote about our first big hand together. He raises the action pre-flop and I call with a suited A-9. The flop comes 4,4,9 and he bets. I push all-in figuring my two pair is golden. To my great disappointment...BG calls. He turns up...get this....KING FOUR (and to his credit crows....they're SOOOTED!) and sure enough the turn brings that king. G-Rob is drawing dead. Again BG has a better write up of this and a better write up of the dope to his right who let me crawl DEEP inside his noodle. See Gambling Blues for that!
Now a few folds later I'm dealt slick of hearts in late position.
Sitting between BG and Al is a cute youngish looking Poker Stars photographer. She bets $8 and then Al pushes all-in. I would have bet the mortgage I had Al beat. So... decide to take Al's money and because the photog is playing very weak I push all-in.
Dammit! She calls.
Al shows A/10
She shows the Hiltons
Flop is brick, Ace, brick. G-Rob ahead!
Turn another Queen. G-Rob behind!
River....aw hell I'm writing about it you know what happened.
G-Rob rebuys....Al leaves for the bar.
Later I caught up with Al, Otis and BG at the bar and Otis asks what happened.
"I doubled up", I say.
"really?" says Otis.
"Would I lie?" Says G-Rob.
Minutes later as we made our way to the casino Otis looks at me with a sly grin ans says "you didn't double up did you?"
"Nope...dropped it"
Otis knows me far too well.
G-Rob DOWN $200.00
That night I blew another $200.00 on drinks for the gang but at least I had SOMTHING to show for it. Unlike the next day, in the sports book, when a bet on the Chargers and every horserace on every track televised for 5 hours left me batteed and bruised. My luck was ugly that day. Only one thing could save me now!! Back to the poker room!!!
Now this is where addiction kicks in. I get my name on the board for damn near every game they have. $100.00 SNG, 2/4 limit, and that same $100.00 max/min NL table I sat at before. By the time I made it over to the bar for a quick throw-me-down a review of the wallet shows....one crisp $100 bill. That's it! No 1's...no lost change....NOTHING! This was my cab fare to the airport and the parking fee back home. The choice was clear. $100.00 NL!
For some reason, the room was less busy tonight and I was seated quickly in the 4s.
Here's the table :
1s empty chips which look like they've been there far longer than allowed. (later filled by chatty Russin woman)
2s Very large woman from New York
3s Very large friend of New York woman who actually chatted ABOUT HER HAND IN PLAY to the woman in the 2s. Stuff like "With my luck he'll get an ace on the flop...DAMN....I have k,Q should I bet?"
4s G-Rob
5s Very friendly uber-tight guy from Holland.
6s Girl with great rack (she also had a lot of poker chips)
7s Tall skinny black guy with a Michigan T-shirt who seemed determined to make an obvious pot buy attempt on every hand he played.
8s Nice rack's boyfriend.
9s Some Northern European type sitting behind about $900 in chips. (from what I could tell several hundred of these came from the 2 and 3 seat because they kept prattling about how it was unfair that someone like him should be allowed to play at the 1.2 table...not sure what that means...but I didn't say it)
10s Loosest player ever!!
Just after sitting down it was clear the 2 and 3 seats were ready to recruit me into an entire night of old lady bitching. So I started early.
"Is this always a game of hold-them or can I chose a different game when I get the dealer chip?"
"Honey its always hold-em!"
"Oh! I've never played before I just came here to visit some friends"
"Don't worry, hon, we'll help you out!"
GOLD JERRY! GOLD!
First hand in the SB I get 7 9 of hearts and 4 limpers. I throw in a buck for the call.
Flop is 5, 3,7 and I bet 10 bucks.
2s actually asks what I have and I say...2 hearts.
Pot buyer calls...racks honey calls...others fold.
Turn brings a 9 on a rainbow board.
I check. Buyer checks. Honey checks.
River is a 2.
I bet 20...pot buyer raises to 60...rack's honey calls. I re-raise all-in...both players call.
Pot buyer shows AQ
Honey shows A 3..Christ this table is soft!
G-Rob is Happy..."beginner's luck"! I tell the ladies.
Before we finish that orbit I catch K/10, hearts again, in middle position. 2s bets out and 3s calls.
"I dunno, should I call?"
"well, we both have good cards," says 2s
"What the hell," I say...before flopping the nut flush.
2s goes deep in the tank and then bets about 15.
3s raises it to 30 while apoligizing to her friend.
I cold call.
On the turn 2s checks and 3s is all in.
I call.
2s folds.
River is dead.
3s shows top 2 pair.
G-Rob says, "nice hand" and makes like he's folding but flips up his cards...
"whoops" I say
"Ummmm, you haf won de hand" Says guy from Amsterdam.
"Really?" I say "wow I thought I was beat!" And then I rake the pot.
For the next 90 minutes I didn't play a hand. I would have killed for the Hammer and absolutely wouldhave gone all-in, but the fates were already being to kind. Besides one of these dumb smucks would have called it anyway.
Finally I catch 9,9 on the button after 5 people limp in. I jack it to 8 bucks and all 5 players call. At any other table this might be scary BUT :
Flop is 9 high rainbow. G-Rob is very happy.
We get checks around until 10 seat makes it 20 bucks to play.
I cold call
And so do nice rack and her guy.
The turn is an ace...and I realize I'm gonna get paid. To control my emotions I actually stare at the center of the table and try to imagine just what size the 6s's nipples are. In my mind the were a full inch long.
Sure enough big rack drops another 20 and her boyfriend folds. But 10s is feelin' crazy and raises it to 40. I cold call and so does she.
The river is a brick.
Big rack, now scared by the worst poker player ever just checks her turn and 10s decides to push...I push too..and rack is forced to fold.
10s shows...ace queen. Top pair.
G-Rob shows his set...and now I'm holding about $600.00 in chips.
Later, I lost about 100 of that when 10s caught a set on his pocket jacks...and I decided to call it a night.
Up for poker. That's all I could have asked.
Now for some Excedrin.
