September 7, 2007
The Silly Contradictions
by G-Rob
I've been wondering about the big bust fear and just how silly it is. Last week, on the news, I read a dozen stories about the giant size of the state's lottery jackpot. That's just fine because it's "for the kids".
Anything sold to you as "for the kids" is probably not good for democracy.
In this case, we banned video poker in the state one year before introducing the lottery.
Poker is illegal as all get out.
I could lose my job if I'm busted in a bust. That doesn't stop me from playing but it stops me from playing quite as much.
That said, I met a state trooper at the gym last week who says he heard I play poker and wanted to know if I wanted to join his weekly game. Um....no.
Meanwhile, last weekend, I drafted my fantasy football team. League membership is $50 with a cost for every transaction. The stakes are small but I think it's still illegal. I'll have to ask my boss. He's in the same league.
I'll have to ask him before next Tuesday. I'm taking that morning off because I plan to stay up late the night before, and probably drink too much, because the Bengals are on Monday Night Football. The local paper says the Bengals are giving 2.5 points to the Ravens. I'd put that information to use (and the fact that the Ravens are 1-4 in their last 5 vs. the Bengals against the spread) if it wasn't illegal to do so.
Speaking of the NFL, ever wonder if anyone would give a shit about the league if it wasn't for gambling and fantasy sports (which is a form of the same)?
So here's your project this morning (or whenever the hell you read this)....please use our comment space to contribute a gambing CONTRADICTION. Something that is so inherently silly that it's, well, inherently silly. Something as silly as me trying to spell inherent.
Please...fire away....
Churches in Wisconsin that have alcohol raffles and games of chance to raise money. According to most Bible thumpers, isn't gambling and drinking bad? Some of the same churches hold card nights (smokers) where the money is right on the table.
In Kansas, they have online scratch off lottery lickets. WTF.
Guys that obsess about "positive EV" frequenting an establishment where someone can rob them at gunpoint and they can't call the cops, and where this fact is well known to the kind of people that would rob you at gunpoint?
Depends on how you calculated it, though. Earning potential vs. chances of being robbed x amount lost per robbery or something like that. You'd have to factor in that you might actually get killed, which would obviously take you straight into the "negative" category, but I'm sure that's a longshot.
I started a response to the "Bible Thumper" thing, but it got long so I moved it to my sad little blog. If you are interested in hearing my thoughts on what the Bible really says about gambling and whether it actually makes any sense, you can read it at www.lowrolling.blogspot.com.
Our local A.N.A.F., (Army, Navy & Air Force) club scheduled a poker tournament to raise funds for their cause. It seems that they did not raise enough cash from the 5 Turkey Shoots that they held through the Summer. With not enough cash and the popularity of NLHE, it was a natural.
After setting it up with an event co-ordinator(paid cash) and much advertising (paid cash) they were ready to go.
A little dissapointed with the response a week out, a large sign was also rented (paid more cash) just outside the club as an extra invitation to players.
This sign was spotted by the cops and a visit was made to discuss this event. This cop, (the one doing all of the talking) was explaining the law to management and how they'd "lose their liquor license for sure, definately be charged under the gambling act and more than likely, someone would have to be arrested as the organizer," if they go ahead with the poker game.
The kicker? (and I shit you not)
This particular cop, was the big winner at the A.N.A.F.'s Mid-Summer Turkey Shoot. He was seen, (by 100's) with his Molson Canadian in one hand, 12 gauge in the other, firing his last shot one handed because his score was so high on the first 2.
Message to all poker players =
We are a sick and dimented breed that the world's charities can do without.
BUT !!!
Cops + Beer + Loaded Guns = Fun for everyone.
And you only wanted inherently silly !
Firehouses across the country host "Bingo Night" in order to raise funds. Gambling, in most of those states, is illegal.
Wikipedia says:
Extortion or outwresting is a criminal offense, which occurs when a person either obtains money, property or services from another through coercion or intimidation or threatens one with physical or reputational harm unless they are paid money or property. Refraining from doing harm is sometimes euphemistically called protection. Extortion is commonly practiced by organized crime groups. The actual obtainment of money or property is not required to commit the offense. Making a threat of violence or a lawsuit which refers to a requirement of a payment of money or property to halt future violence or lawsuit is sufficient to commit the offense. The four simple words "pay up or else" are sufficient to constitute the crime of extortion. An extortionate threat made to another in jest is still extortion.
Yet we pay taxes... or they take our property or put us in jail (reputational harm ).
In Washington state, you can play live poker at many private and indian casinos. But if you fire up your computer and play on-line, you've committed a feloney.
In response to the last comment:
TLDNR
Daily Pick 3 Lottery games that don't even offer true odds:
Pick the first number pulled 0-9 pays 5 to 1.
As if they need to tilt the roulette table even more in their favor.
The NFL and NBA officially discourage gambling on their games. But force each and every team to submit an "Injury report" weekly... why?? So the bookmakers have an accurate spread of course....
