It's a good thing online poker wasn't really around when I was in college. I first discovered it a couple years after graduating. I was living in G-Vegas and making a few bucks a month at a dealer's choice home game.

I found my rush at Ultimate Bet. I actually managed to build a bankroll by cashing in a freeroll and getting a few bucks from a royal flush. I turned it into a couple hundred dollars and thought I was the greatest player in the history of poker. In reality, I was a donkey (before they were called donkeys). But my itch was being scratched.

I truly believe the poker blogger community helped me get over my need for that rush. Frankly, chasing was the best way to embarrass myself in front of my new invisible friends. I wanted to show them I knew how to play. I started to think less about the gamble and more about how to be a winning player.

I've lost that.

I've played so infrequently over the past year that when I do play, I can last about three levels before I'm ready to push all-in on a button steal with KTo. I'm more than happy to race with pocket 3s despite an M of 12. When I lose, that's okay... the adrenaline lasts long enough for me to close down the program.

I'm a bad poker player again (some would argue I was never good, but I digress...). I doubt any bloggers worry when they find me at their table. It's not like I give them any reason to.

So where's the rush? I'm increasingly finding it at the track. Judging by the lack of comments on my horse racing posts, I'm guessing there's little interest in my handicapping. That's probably a good thing because I don't think I'm a real good handicapper, either. I've gotten just lucky enough over the years to fool myself.

But I love it. Whereas in the past, I might spend an entire Saturday playing tourney after tourney... now I'd rather handicap a card and watch the races at Belmont.

That's not a good thing. When I'm playing right, I know I have an edge at the poker table. At the track? The house has the edge. If I'm chasing the rush there, I know I'm going to be a loser in the long run.

So what's the answer? I wish I knew. We have a Wii now. I think I'll lay a few bets with Lady Luck on Super Mario Kart.

To be honest with you, I can't remember the last time I played in a blogger event. From what I've read, my get-in-behind-and-suck-out technique seems to be the preferred method for winning these events. All the really talented players are being felted by players who have copied my patented strategies.

Now it's my turn. Buoyed by my luckboxing in the Pick 4, I think now is the perfect time to return to the virtual tables.

My only advice to you? Get in behind. I just can't hold a lead. I am the Mitch Williams of the poker world.

(Am I dating myself? Is the 1993 World Series too long ago? That's the BASEBALL world series, by the way, not the WSOP. Would it have been better to call myself the Eric Gagne of the poker world? Does anyone watch baseball anymore? Should I be the Memphis-Tigers-in-a-championship-game of the poker world?)

The MATH Live-blog

9:00- My starting table: bayne_s, swimmom95, NumbBono, Julius_Goat, Breeze81, UpForPoker

9:01- bayne_s flops a set of 4s on the first hand, but gets nothing out of it, tough break.

9:04- I fold KQo out of the small blind to an UTG raise from bayne_s. A weak play six-handed, but it's early. I hate being out of position with such an easily dominated hand.

9:05- My first raise, with KJo from UTG+1. No callers.

9:07- Pocket 6s in the BB, and I call an UTG raise by Breeze81. The flop misses me (J97) and I check. Breeze81 does not follow up with a c-bet. So, either the flop hit him hard and he's slow playing, or he doesn't c-bet. Guess I'll see. I fold to a bet on the turn.

9:08- Pocket Ts this time. I again call a raise. This time, the flop brings just one overcard (J94). swimmom95 leads out and I raise, she calls. The turn is a blank, she checks, I bet about 2/3rds of the pot, she folds. I'm at T3300.

9:14- Pocket 7s. For the third time, I called a preflop raise with a pocket pair. The flop was K93. Julius_Goat c-bet half the pot, which screamed, "Weak!!!" I put out a strong raise and he folded. T3630.

9:16- HAMMER. I raise 3x from the button, as per the poker blogger rule book, and get called from the SB and BB. The flop is T42, checked to me, I bet about 2/3rds and the fold. Show. HAMMER.

9:17- Rockets. Julius_Goat raises in front of me. I just call. Not my normal play, but I give it a shot. Flop comes down K-high, no straight, no flush, great flop for AA. He checks, I bet about half the pot, he check-raises me. I don't buy it... and I think about just calling. But if he has AK or KQ, I probably felt him, so I re-re-raise. He folds, "not really my night," he types. T4660.

9:23- And swimmom95 is down almost to the felt (T75). AT vs. AK on an AKJ flop. AK holds up for Julius_Goat.

9:25- My chance to knock out swimmom95. I have JJ, she has 62o. Naturally, she wins the hand, flopping two pair. Told you I play better from behind.

9:27- I double up swimmom95 again when my 89s takes the lead on her A5s on the turn, but she rivers a flush. I have to make sure I take the lead at the river, not before. T4010.

9:30- Pocket 4s. I call a raise, three of us see a flop of K77. Not the worst flop ever. It's checked around. 9 on the turn, I lead out and get called by both. River is another K. I'm counterfeited and it's checked around again. bayne_s had pocket Qs, Julius_Goat had JT. Down to T3810.

9:39- swimmom95 doubles up again. KJ outflops AT. From the dead to T1260.

9:42- Pocket 7s. I call and the BB raises to 280. I take a shot at hitting the flop, figuring I'll get paid off if I do. Flop is T84, two spades. NumbBono insta-pushes for about half my remaining stack. Looking back to a minute or so ago, I think I should have called. I believe NumbBono was pushing no matter what hit the flop. There's a good chance I was ahead. But I'm still above starting stack, just below average stack. I'd rather get my chips in when I'm more sure. I'll keep my eye out for that move again.

9:48- And we lose bayne_s. Poor guy. Okay, he just got moved to another table.

9:51- Table has gotten really tight. No flops. I'll have to take advantage of that.

9:52- mclarich joins the table. Never heard of him.

9:54- Now I don't like him either. I raise on the button with A8o and he calls from the BB. Flop misses me, T94. He checks, I c-bet, he check-raises. I pretty much knew it was going to happen, so I should have saved my money. Who knows, maybe I would have hit the A on the turn. I'll file this away and use it to my advantage next time.

9:55- swimmom95 sucks out a chop with AJ vs. AQ preflop. She is Rasputin.

9:59- swimmom95 finally makes the mistake of getting in ahead. AQ vs. J8s. J8 rivers the straight. And we lose our first player. I'm down to T2080, by the way. I don't like mclarich. I will double through him.

10:00- First break. I'm not sure how much I liked my play. I stole some pots, won a solid one with AA and got myself up to T4660. It all started going downhill when I got in ahead against swimmom95. I don't have to remind you how bad I am at that. I'll likely need to be more aggressive in the next hour. I will double through mclarich.

10:05- Loretta8 joins our table. Still unfamiliar. I've been away for awhile.

10:08- My M is 10. Do bloggers still talk about Ms?

10:11- KTs. I raise preflop and get two callers. The flop is about as good as it gets, considering I missed it. 743, two diamonds. I've got a flush draw and over cards. As long as I'm not up against Aces or a small pair that hit a set, I like my chances. I push. And get called. By Aces. So much for that. The river King must have been Full Tilt's idea of a joke. I didn't get to double through mclarich after all. Guess that will have to wait until the next blogger tourney.

Change isn't easy. I haven't had much time to think about what it's going to be like to be married because I've been focused on planning this whole crazy wedding. Then, smack dab in the middle of this, I've had to find a new job. Let's just say my Luckbox skills have once again extended to the real world.

In addition to finding the perfect woman in Lady Luck, I've now had a perfect job opportunity fall in my lap. With a contract that's soon to expire, I decided staying in Lafayette wasn't right for me.

From Lincoln to G-Vegas to Knoxville to Lafayette... and now Evansville, IN. Once again, it's not a city I ever imagined I'd live in, but in my business, the job often picks you. A 30% increase over what I'm making now sure did help make it an easy decision. Throw in the remarkably good buyers housing market, and I was sold.

Oh, did I mention the casinos? Let's just say I'm thinking E-Vegas might be a good moniker.

Next week, the G-Vegas crew comes to Leezy-anna for a little gambling, a little Bourbon St. and a whole lot of alcohol. Then it's that little wedding thing that I'm honored they've all decided to be a part of. Then Lady Luck and I start packing for our new life a little further north.

To say it's a whirlwind is an understatment. But when I'm settled, I can promise you'll see a lot more of me on here and at the virtual tables. You get to decided if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

By the time I got there, 10 names were already on the list. Since it was my first time, I didn’t know how long I’d have to wait. At about 7pm, they slid a poker table out from a back room and set it up. Player’s names were called and chips were sold.

I stood by the bar, nervously sipping a Bud Light. It was a half hour later when they slid another table out from the back. This time I got a seat. It was a $1/$2 NL game with no max buy in. Everyone else was buying in for around $200. I bought in for $500. I spent the next three hours robbing college kids of daddy’s money while wondering if I would be robbed or arrested before the night was over.

I left with my $700 profit and, despite deciding it was one of the softest games I’d ever seen, I vowed to never return.

Mere weeks later, the local police department began breaking up bar room games. The poker boom was going bust. Or so some would say…

That’s the only time I’ve ever had to nervously watch the door during a poker session in Louisiana. The reason is simple. I have a half dozen legal poker rooms with games and tournaments I love to play within an hour or so drive.

There’s the Coushatta Casino (my personal favorite), the Paragon Casino, Cypress Bayou Casino, Harrah’s New Orleans, Isle of Capri Casino and Boomtown Casino and that doesn’t even include the two poker rooms in Shreveport or the next poker room currently in discussion for Baton Rouge.

With the homegrown Louisiana players and additional flood of players from the Houston area seeking legal poker, the game is thriving in Louisiana. I can get a $2/$5 NL game at any time of day or night. On some days, they’re even spreading the $5/$10 NLHE/PLO8. And you never have to worry about a gun to your head or a SWAT team invasion. I’d much rather save my fear for what monster my opponent may be holding.

**********************

On a completely unrelated note, for those who got this far, I wanted to let everyone know that I'm a long shot for Vegas. A long shot at best. As most of you know, I'm engaged, and the wedding is now just a few months away (Januray to be exact). So barring some kind of miracle (or a hell of a wedding gift!), the trip just isn't practical right now. Either way, I'm sure everyone who goes will have a blast, I'm just sorry I'll miss it.

Over the past few weeks, I've been teaching her the game of poker. We started slow, just learning the rank of hands. From there, I showed her how the game of Texas Hold 'Em is played. Next, we considered starting hands. Then it was learning when to throw a hand away. Finally, we started slinging chips.

In our first mock game, it became immediately clear that being dominated does not bother Lady Luck. Late in the game, I'm holding J8 to her 89. Her short stack is destined to become mine.

I burn a card and slowly reveal the flop. It's a 7 in the door.

"Oooh," I say, "that's good news, you might have a straight draw."

The next card I reveal is a 10. Uh oh, I think. And there it is. A six. She flopped the nut straight. We had just watched Rounders. I felt a little like Teddy KGB (insert your own jokes here).

The turn and river did me no good, she had doubled up.

The next time she got herself all in, she was holding 78s. I don't want you to think she's just playing connectors. She was the shortest stack and was finding the best spots she could to get her money in. I was holding 57s. Our big stack, the ghost player (there were two other hands I was managing), was holding KQs.

The flop? How about 8-7-x. The turn? How about the case 7. Her boat was unbeatable, but, unfortunately for me, the ghost hand managed a four flush on the river and knocked me out.

I really think she enjoyed it. Checking is still a bit of a tricky concept for her, but the rest of the stuff has come pretty quickly. She's even learning shuffle chips.

We'll be home this weekend visiting family and maybe we'll have a chance to see how she stands up against the rest of the Luckbox clan. It's only a matter of time before she's taking your money at the tables.

She's got the gene.

Cartoon

He's the big stack. At just over four months old, he's picked up the game rather quickly. He plays a lot like your online newcomers. He can't fold to save his life and wouldn't recognize a squeeze play if it was spelled out in dog treats.

But the cards have been right. And, really, sometimes that's all it takes. I flop a set and he rivers a straight. I turn the straight and he rivers the flush. I river the flush but his two pair becomes a boat. I just can't beat him.

Not to mention he's about as easy to read as a wikipedia entry on quantum mechanics. Really, those puppy eyes don't change much... and if he's wagging his tail it might only be because he smells bacon.

Swirl

She's got a few more year's experience at the poker table and she's putting it to good use. Her blunt style reminds me of G-Rob. I can't tell you the number of times I've laid down a good hand to her only to see her table the Hammer. She's a killer, really... it must be the Pit Bull blood in her.

The good news is that she's got a few tells. For instance, when she begins panting, it's time for her to go outside. That doesn't really help me win any more chips, but it sure beats the surprises we get from Cartoon.

Over time, I'm pretty sure I can beat her game. She's got some skills, but I've felted G-Rob enough times to know I can break down this style. Now I just need some cards to help do it!

Lady Luck

Here's the problem. She doesn't really know how to play at this point. I suppose on occasion she'd actually lay down that gutshot straight draw if she knew how unlikely it was to hit. Then when it hits, I'm the one who gets to explain that she's beaten my two pair.

She also thinks it's fun to root for the dogs against me. Every time Cartoon wins a pot, she cheers and gives him a treat. You can imagine how quickly that can put someone on tilt.

Finally, we're still a few months away from the wedding, and it's in my best interest to stay away from my fiancee's bad side. After all, there are plenty of consequences... if you know what I mean.

She did, however, let me put together what's been dubbed "The Man Room," complete with my poker table, so I've got that going for me!

The Luckbox

That leaves me, your hero... and the short stack at this table.

Things have to get better, right? I am the only one in this game to read Harrington on Hold 'Em. That's got to be good for something, right?

In reality, I just haven't had as much time to play poker these days. This whole getting married thing takes up a lot of time. Of course, I wouldn't trade it for those bachelor days, not for anything.

Last weekend, I took a shot at a couple of tourneys and ran into Aces every single time. I'm also still smarting from laying down those Kings at the Coushatta months ago. It's still stuck in my mind and I have to get rid of it.

After all... I've got a wedding to pay for!

***************

And in case you were wondering... here's the board from the hand we were playing above:

Yeah... wrong time to play The Hammer.

******************

Sitting in the Keno lounge, I was sorry I didn't yet know how to play Craps. It seems my grandfather was quite the dice thrower. My family was in upstate NY visiting me at college. Perphas the lure of the Turning Stone Casino helped convince my grandfather to come.

I hadn't yet perfected my Lite Brite method of Keno wagering. It, of course, is no better than any other method that's sure to be a loser. It didn't matter, however, because I just thought it was cool to be gambling with my grandfather.

He played the $5 20-spot ticket and as the numbers came up, he missed and missed and missed. He missed every one of them. And it paid off a couple hundred dollars. I thought he was the greatest gambler of all time. Who actually wins at Keno?

We spent the next couple hours in the Bingo hall playing off his winnings. It's the only chance I ever got to gamble with him. He died a few years ago. It was a bit of a surprise.

Yesterday was not a surprise. My grandmother had been sick for years. In fact, it's probably been five years since I had a coherent conversation with her. Her mind went first and, unfortunately, her body took years to break down. It was a long time coming, but she's in a better place now. And that's not just a cliche to me.

******************

I'm not sure how much my grandparents on my father's side gambled. I know they loved to play cards. I've been playing canasta and cribbage and gin and just about any card game you can imagine since I was old enough to understand them.

It was my Dad who first introduced me to poker. He also first introduced me to horses. And craps for that matter. There's no question that I wouldn't be the gambler today if it weren't for Dad.

Of course, I don't want to let Mom off the hook either. She once came to visit me when I lived in Lincoln, NE and we took a trip across the river to Council Bluffs and the riverboat casinos. She spent most of her time at the Wheel of Fortune slot machine and hit a nice jackpot for a couple hundred bucks.

Perhaps my luck is genetic?

Even if my grandmother wasn't a gambler, I'm sure she considered herself lucky back on that Thanksgiving afternoon. She had a big family that loved her.

And none of us lived in pottery.

Looking back on my life, I wonder where I'd be today had I made different decisions. My first job after college took me to Lincoln, Nebraska. At the time, I had a job offer to work for ESPN (yes, Pauly isn't the first to get the call from the Worldwide Leader!). It was a chance to get on the path to my dream job.

I turned it down.

For a time, I wondered if I had made the wrong decision. I put all I had on the line and moved halfway across the country to work an overnight shift in a town in which I knew absolutely no one. It was hard. But I got lucky. Perhaps I pulled a four-outer on the river. I was quickly promoted and got a nice raise.

When it was time to move on, I had two very tempting offers. One was in the Pacific Northwest, Spokane to be exact. The other was in a small South Carolina town that I didn't even know existed. The Spokane job offer was for more money, a better shift and a more prestigious position.

I turned it down.

I never looked back to wonder if I made the wrong decision. I landed in G-Vegas and made the best friends I've ever had. And I got lucky. Perhaps I drew out again. After less than two weeks on the job, I was promoted. I worked side-by-side with Mrs. Otis for three years. I never wanted to leave.

But I had to. And out of the blue, I got a call to move to Knox-Vegas. It was a huge opportunity for me. Lots more money and a chance to take a big step professionaly. I had to take it.

It wasn't all I had dreamed of, but I was still close enough to get back to G-Vegas regularly. And then I got lucky. This was more like hitting the one-outer for the straight flush to beat four of a kind. A station down in little Lafayette, Louisiana needed a news director and they wanted me.

I couldn't turn it down.

That was more than three years ago. For the first two and a half years, I focused on my job. I focused on my job to the exclusion of anything else. And I wasn't happy. Let me amend that... I wasn't depressed, but I wasn't exactly walking on air.

Then I got lucky. This was more like holding a losing hand but having your opponent accidentally muck. That's the kind of luck I'm talking about here. It's like hitting the bad beat jackpot.

With some encouragement from BG, I dove into the dating world. The first woman I met was Lady Luck. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. She was gorgeous and funny. She laughed at my jokes and loved baseball and movies.

I fell in love. And I never looked back.

Last night, I put all my chips in the middle. And I won.

Lady Luck will soon become Mrs. Luckbox. And I couldn't be happier.

I played my last hand of online poker more than a month ago. In fact, I had cashed out shortly before my trip to Tunica. It ended up being a great time to get out because none of my money was stuck in NeTELLER.

Left with balances of mostly zero and a law that scared almost all online banks out of the market, there wasn't an easy way to get back in. But that's not why I'm not playing.

It wasn't so long ago that I had taken a rather extended break from online poker. You see, I had become a Jedi. I was using the force to kill rancors. I had built my first lightsaber. Bounty Hunters were trying to take me out. Yes, I was lost in the world of Star Wars Galaxies Online. It's this kind of information that scares Lady Luck.

That addiction didn't last. It fell to the wayside like past obsessions like baseball cards and ESPN fantasy sports. It's not that I don't still own those baseball cards or still play some fantasy sports, it's that they are no longer obsessions.

I only have one obsession now. She happens to be the most beautiful women I've ever known. Each week is just spent waiting for the weekend when I'll be able to spend time with her. This is the healthiest addiction of all.

I haven't said goodbye to poker... just online poker. I miss the days of taking all of wil's chips in the WWdN or of sucking out on Waffles in the Mookie. I miss trading 5% with Speaker and Change100 in the FTP guarantees or the $5 last longers with Jo. I miss all that. But the beauty of our community is that I'm not leaving all that behind.

The draw of the real felt is something you'll never drag me away from. In fact, Lady Luck encourages my play. And, hopefully, in a couple months, I'll be sitting across from you. You may not be seeing the Luckbox online, but that won't keep me from sucking out on you in Vegas!

The Pentagon Hammer by Otis
The HAMMER Spreads by Luckbox

Finally, this tidbit from G-Rob from a post in Dec. 2005:

I was playing over at Frank the Tank's last Wednesday, it was a $60 tourney where I played like crap, when someone dropped a huge hammer bluff. Weird thing about it was: a) I'd never seen this guy before and b) he called his hand "the hammer."

One of the players at the table, an older guy sitting to my right, asked him, "why do people call that hand 'the hammer'?" A third player, at the end of the table, another guy I'd never seen before, chimed in, "That's what it's always been called... like Big Slick... it's what all the pros call it."

I was stunned.

BadBlood, who was also at my table, chimed in with this nugget of truth, "Actually, it was invented by a friend of ours, a writer named "Grubby"."

The entire table laughed at what they obviously thought was a joke. BadBlood didn't bother to insist.

Who's got some advice?

I figure breaking out the deck of cards during foreplay is a bad idea.

The good news is that she's not a complete novice. She's played cards, she enjoys games... has even played a little poker here or there in her past.

It's the whole Texas Hold 'Em thing she's worried about. She says she tried it once and couldn't quite grasp it. I explained it was probably the easiest of the poker games to learn.

The bad news is that she'd be learning from me. Frankly, I'm not sure there's a real sound way of teaching my way of playing poker. In one of my favorite all-time posts (The Legend of the Luckbox), I laid out just a few rules of sucking out. But, really, is that a skill that can be taught?

Can Michael Jordan teach you to fly?

You see where my dilemma lies, right? I suppose it makes sense to just start with a little ABC poker. But you only learn by doing. Maybe I'll buy her into the Bad Blood New Years Invitational. Frankly, watching her lay a bad beat on GRob would make my 2007.

**********

I've been a little distracted recently, for a lot of reasons.

Some of you may have noticed my other blog has been "Under Construction." I'd like to elaborate, but perhaps that's the reason it's on hiatus in the first place. Unfortunately, I have an honest-to-goodness job and sometimes it gets in the way of life.

That's the bad. But I'm The Luckbox, remember. There's always got to be good. And this is real good.

**********

It's the first time I remembered "The Big Game." Usually, I'd log on and it'd be half over. Tonight, I ponied up the $75 to play (that's right, no little token for me!). 16 other players joined. And they all finished higher than me.

Deep stack events would generally invite slower play. That certainly wasn't the case at our table. I dumped nearly half my stack on hands I really didn't need to play. When my pocket 9s found an 8-high flop, I raised Derek all in. He gladly called with his set of deuces. I didn't even have the heart to ask the dealer for one of my two outs.

I am Gigli.

**********

Something pretty good happened a few weeks ago. I really need to give credit to a little encouragement from BG. Next time we're in the same place, I owe you a drink.

**********

Four fantasy football teams and four teams in line for the playoffs. One of them is suddenly in pretty big trouble. And the other may need a miracle.

More than that, my beloved Eagles are done.

Donovan McNabb tore is ACL today. His recovery time is somewhere between 8 to 12 months. That leaves one fantasy team to Michael Vick, another to Charlie Frye and my Eagles to either Jeff Garcia or A.J. Feely.

**********

"Maybe you should pick a new favorite team," she told me, completely oblivious to the years of toil and torment I've endured since becoming an Eagles fan.

"I can't," I said, laughing, although down 17-6 to the Titans with McNabb sidelined, I really wanted to cry.

"Why not? They're not very good."

We called today our 9th date. Unfortunately, we only get to see each other on weekends, so the last four weekends we've decided are two "dates" a piece. The last few Sundays, I've tried to teach her a little about football. Being from the Houston area, she decided she should be rooting for the Texans. I tried to explain her to the folly of that decision, but I'm an Eagles fan, remember?

**********

Last week, G-Rob let us all in on a little secret. His third child is on the way. I'm kinda rooting for a boy. I'd like to see how he handles a little G-Rob running around.

A few days later, Otis dropped the kind of post that makes me want to stop writing.

Both of them talked about friends and friendship. The friends I made in G-Vegas are the best I've ever had. It never hurts to remind myself of that. And the friends I've made in our humble little "community" have helped change my life in some of the best ways.

**********

My life at the poker table is running pretty damn cold right now. My Eagles have taken a turn for the worse dragging my fantasy football future with them. And my job... well...

But life is great right now. As good as I can remember it being in a long time. Thanks for asking.

The Pros Speak in New Orleans

"Are you guys all wise guys?? Don't be a wise guy. Not with me. I don't deserve it."

--John Bonetti, at my table in the WSOP Circuit. After the target of his ire wished him luck, Bonetti responded with, "Good luck to you, I don't need it." Apparently, he could have used some since he didn't cash.

"If no one ever got a hand in a tournament, I'd win every one."

--Mike "The Mouth" Matusow at the $10/$25 NL table next to mine, doing his best Phil Helmuth impersonation.

***silence***

--Phil Ivey after Gavin Smith busted him in the $10K WSOP Circuit Event. Phil held AK on a K-high flop but Gavin held KK.

There Were Highs

I think by now most people heard about the streak last year. I had a pretty good run of it the last few months of 2005 leading up to the WPBT. January made me believe that perhaps the streak would continue. I chopped in a big live tourney at the Coushatta and scored some nice online cashes. When I got back from the WSOP Circuit Event in Tunica, my bankroll had never been higher.

Then February happened.

The Pacific 50K

There was a $9000 overlay today in Pacific's big tourney. On the very first hand, I more than doubled up when I turned a flush. From there I found ideal times to chip up and got myself into the top ten with less than half the field remaining.

70 places paid and I was no lower 30 for most of the tournament. I was feeling really good about my play.

Then a combination of card-dead-itis and an unwillingness to use my big stack during the critical third hour found me near the bubble. I barely scratched my way into the bottom rung before completely misplaying pocket 8s (that would be a preflop limp and a post Q97-flop push into the BB's Q7). It was a disappointing result.

February is a Cold, Cold Month

I guess I'm lying a little. The temperature here probably never dropped below 50 during the day and barely cracked freezing a few times at night.

Perhaps just the cards were cold. Of course, it's hard to blame the cards when you're barely playing.

February wasn't the best month for me. If you don't know, I work in television news. In fact, someone was crazy enough to put me in charge of a newsroom. Four months out of the year, my performance is measured by what a few hundred people each week write down in a diary. They are ratings months, and February is one of them.

I think my bosses have expected more out of me and this was a tough month. My contract was going to come up soon and I could do nothing but hope I got an offer. I wasn't ready to go and I didn't feel like going through a job search. When you're never in one place more than 3 years, it grinds on you. If I fulfill my contract here, it'll be a record 4 years in one place.

Not only were ratings weighing on me, but I was going through an extremely delicate negotiation with a top news talent in the market. The president of the company sent an email telling me to get it done.

Needless to say, my mind wasn't on poker. I manged to lose 2/3rds of my live bankroll in two brutal sessions at the Coushatta and I played very little online and dropped another couple hundred bucks there.

More than anything, I didn't want to play.

The Poker Stars $1 Million

There was an $80,000 overlay in the Stars Million today. I decided to buy-in directly to try and take advantage of that. Things started slowly, but I doubled through with QQ vs. AK after I flopped a set and rivered a boat when the second K gave him trips.

I was feeling pretty good about my game here, too.

Then I fell into the same funk I was in over at Pacific. Maybe I tighten up too much in these levels. Whatever the case, I found myself quickly moving backwards.

Then I violated one of my own rules. Never go bust on a hand in which you check from the big blind. Okay, so maybe it's not a hard and fast rule to follow, but it's as close as it gets in my "It Depends" world.

I'm holding Q7 and the SB just completes. The flop comes down Q93. He bets out, I raise, he calls. I guess I could have figured he had something at this point. The turn was an A. He made a nice sized bet, but I didn't believe he had an Ace, I'm sure he would have raised preflop. However, once I eliminted the Ace in my mind, I decided not to think about what other hand he would make this move with. I push, he calls, and shows Q3. Ugh.

The Barren March

When March rolled around, I had my top talent's name on a contract and the bosses were happy. I then got my name on a contract that keeps me in Lafayette for a couple more years. Then the ratings from February came in and they were a mixed bag, at best.

The work pressures have been greater than they were when I got here. I thought it would have been the other way around. And the pressures make me come home from work and not want to face any pressures at the virtual poker table.

Apart from my play on Stars, I played in a total of four online events in March. It's the least I played in a month in a long, long time. I hit the live tables again, this time in Vegas (bookended around a brief trip to the Playboy Mansion, if you hadn't heard). I managed to lose the rest of my modest live bankroll. I just didn't play well, and, frankly, my head wasn't on the cards.

April is only half over and the bankroll's not looking good this month. I've been playing more, but probably not with the right mindset. I'm jumping in events I shouldn't and playing bad tournament poker.

It's Time for a Change

I've consolidated my bankrolls down to three sites: PokerStars, Full Tilt Poker and Pacific. For some reason, I've played in just two events at Pacific since February. Part of my plan includes getting back into those soft tourneys more regularly. I also plan on playing more token satellites at FTP and using those to enter guarantees. Finally, I'll likely be playing more SNG's at Stars than anything else. I've had success there and I enjoy them.

I want to start liking poker again. But, frankly, I have to play well to like it. And I'm not gonna play well if I'm not playing.

Let's see if I can turn it around the rest of this month.