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May 25, 2006

Murderer's Row?

by Otis

"I always keep a roll of duct tape and some rope in the trunk of my car."

I was doing my best not to look at the guy while he talked. I already knew what he looked like. Closely-cropped hair, a few pock-marks on his face, and arms that looked like he used to be either really muscular or really fat, but was neither anymore.

"You never know when you're going to have to make a trip to Alabama and drop someone in the bayou."

We were back at the Spring Hotel. G-Rob was in the three-seat. I was in the six. We'd agreed, following a hellish five days, that we wanted to sit and think about nothing but poker for a few hours.

When we pulled down the wooded, gravel driveway, it was clear that it was no ordinary night. It was only 8pm and parking was scarce. By the time we reached the door, two tables were running and a third was on the way. We drew seats in the back room and saw only a few familiar faces. Everybody else, including the strange-armed dude in the ten-seat, were new to us.

Over the years, I'd heard my grandpa use the term, "honey hole," and I always thought he was talking dirty. Because, frankly, if I needed a euphamism for the holiest of holies, I'd call it a "honey hole" every day of the week and twice on Independence Day. But, Grandpa meant a place where he could go fishing and always catch a mess fit for fryin'.

Last night, the Spring Hotel was a honey hole I'd be proud to show to my closest of friends. It's the type of thing that good sense tells you to keep a secret. But, if my blogging breathren were to come to town (the ones that can exploit a good game and fly under the radar like nobody's business--and I have a couple of you in mind), I'd take them in and let them run wild.

Since I somehow managed to walk out a loser (no need to go into how that happened), I'll let G-Rob tell you how he mopped up the game. Me, I'm more concerned about the ten-seat. He was the type of guy that would raise 35 times the big blind under the gun with a pair of sixes. He was the type of guy who would bet into a three-spade, paired board with nothing better than second pair and then call an all-in (have you seen my queens full, friend?).

See, I had a read on the guy like few reads I've had in my life. While I couldn't tell you his holding, I knew when he had a winner and when he had a loser. This wasn't a special talent on my part. I brought in Stevie Wonder and he picked up on it, too. In fact, after betting the hell out of my AK on a high-high board, I was overjoyed to lay down my hand when a third heart fell on the river. The ten-seat shook his head, muttered something about me hitting the flush, and then pushed all-in (this, after check-calling through the flop and turn). Like I said, Helen Keller was reading this cat.

So, I knew when to believe the guy and when not to believe him. And then he drops, '"I always keep a roll of duct tape and some rope in the trunk of my car."

I was eying up the Middle Eastern guy with the sweet cigars in the two seat, but I stole a glance at Mr. Tell. He was muttering, presumably for the nine-seat's amusement, about tying up girls and using duct tape to cover their mouths. He was forcing a bit of humor into his whispers, and finished up with, "Aw, I'm just kidding."

But, I had a read on the guy, you know.

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Comments

Hell, who doesn't have some rope in their trunk?

Posted by: Daddy at May 25, 2006 11:59 AM

And by "girls", he means "Donkeys".

Posted by: TeamScottSmith at May 25, 2006 12:09 PM

About ten years ago the New Yorker had a profile of this guy, he was a Broadway producer (I think he brought Angels in America to the stage) but before that he was sort of a general moneyman. Invested in anything under the sun. But pretty much a straight guy. Think he also taught at Yale.

So the reporter is interviewing him, they decide to get some dinner, and the producer stands up and pulls this wad of bills out of his pocket. It's close to ten grand. "You carry around that much money?" the reporter asks nervously.

"Everywhere I go. Don't you?" the producer asks, geniunely surprised.

The reporter says no, and the producer says, "Well, what happens if you have to leave the United States, right now, and you can never come back? Ever. You need money to live on for a bit until you can set things up down there."

The reporter says, "Uh, why would I need to leave the US and never come back?"

The producer shrugs and says, "Who can say?"

Don't know why your duct-tape story made me think of that, but it did.

Posted by: Mean Gene at May 25, 2006 12:35 PM
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