May 22, 2006
Everything and Nothing (to do with poker)
by G-Rob
Up for Poker lost a dear friend this weekend. He was 34 years old.
The last time I talked to Gulfman was Tuesday in one of the cramped edit bays here at work. He was dressed as always with khaki shorts, a clean company logo shirt and filthy leather boots, just staring at the computer screen on which he'd typed a dozen words. His perfectly round face sagged with concern. His left hand gripping his almost hairless crown.
He'd been a photographer here for 9 years this month but was trying something new. He was ready to grow. He wanted to be a writer.
I promisted to help.
I owed him that much.
Back when I came to G-Vegas, in the summer of 2000, Gulfman was the third photographer I shot with. I was nervous about my new gig and the other shooters used kid gloves but Gulfman was ballistic.
As I taped a lame standup to an equally lame report about the summer drought and golf course greens, I asked, "Do you think that's OK?"
"Yeah, I guess," he said, "if you're really that lazy."
Then it started to rain.
Six months later Gulfman and I won our first signifigant TV award for an education story that he developed and drove. I owe him a large part of my career.
One year earlier, Gulfman and Otis were nominated for an Emmy.
I sometimes think he led two lives, like some parody of yin and yang. Back then he was always unshaven and used "FUCK" like a Smurf... adverb, adjective, verb, noun, and punctuation. We called his apartment "Melrose Gulfman" for all the women, booze, and unmentionable drama it attracted, like a full issue of "US" weekly.
The last few years, however, our New York City friend became an almost stereotypical Southern Gentelman. He married a gorgrous elementary school teacher from Abbeville. He became a Baptist. He stopped drinking and smoking and cursing and talked more about his lawn and his 401k than anything else. He still cared about the work, and he still cared about us, but we didn't see him quite as much.
I loved both Gulfmans.
I wrote about him here a few months ago. I took him up to Kentucky for a story and my mother's birthday. I never looked at my world the same way, once I saw it through his eyes.
So two weeks ago, Gulfman said he wanted to be a better journalist. He said he wanted to help WRITE the stories he shot. I gave him my favorite book on the subject and offered to help when I could. That's how I left him Tuesday, with a few stupid pointers about writing in the active voice and picking EXPLOSIVE verbs. I'm still flattered that he picked me as his tutor.
He'll be buried here Tuesday evening. Otis and I are pallbearers at the funeral.
33 and killed by a brain tumor nobody knew he had.
He makes me want to write. Which is why I posted it here.
[EDIT : OTIS SAID THIS AS WELL AS I HOPED TO HERE ]
Having known you guys for maybe a couple of years at most, it strikes me that you all are fierce friends.
So it is obvious how much of a loss this is to those of us who did not know Gulfman.
Call upon the Bloods to help if we can.
Better phrase:
"It's obvious to those of us who did not know Gulfman how much of a loss it is to you."
I look at what you and Otis wrote, and it makes me long to have know a man who could inspire such feelings. My condolences.
Nice piece you did on Gulfman. I have no words.
Thank you, G-Rob, for sharing your entries on Gulfman, a great man I first met at Baldwin Junior High School in NY.
Take care,
Eric Liebman
The piece was beautiful. Yours and Otis' words were heartbreaking. Our thoughts are with you guys in your time of loss.
Thank you for such a lovely picture of our cranky, sweet, angry, silly Gulfman. We were friends in another life (college) and I miss him very much.
Love and sweet tea,
Terri Cohen-Lieberman
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. I send my regards to his family during these very difficult times...a candle will be lit at church this sunday in his honor.
sorry to hear about that... i've just tuned into your blog, but i know what it's like to lose somebody close... my thoughts are with you...
Chris made an inmpact on our lives way back when...yet it seems like yesterday. He's someone you can't forget.
I met Chris at NPPA in Norman... about 8 years ago. We were in the same group and boy did he make us laugh. He was the comic the one who stood out. We did one of those skits and beer was a big part of it...I just remember laughing the whole time. We spent a week with him and became long distance friends. I say "we" because my now husband was with us too(Matt McColl a photojournalist at KVBC here in Vegas). Matt and Chris had alot in common and stayed in touch over the years. I hadn't talked to Chris in a long time but I felt connected because my husband would give me updates. He was a special person and we feel so lucky that our paths crossed. Thanks for sharing part of his life on this page. We will be thinking of all of you, especially tonight!
Stacey Escalante
Reporter
KVBC-TV
So sorry guys. Thinking of you, yours and Gulfmans.
My condolences to the two of you and Gulfman's family. What a great tribute...you make me sad that I didn't know him. Good thoughts to the both of ya.
I am so sorry for your tragic loss and my thoughts are with y'all. Peace.
I commented the same thing over at Rapid eye. I'm very sorry to hear about this. I didn't know Gulfman, but I know people like him. As much as you've lost by his passing, you've gained much more for having called him a friend. I look forward to hearing a Gulfman story and toasting to his honor sometime in the near future.
I knew Gulfman as a neighbor first, coworker second. I last saw him Thursday night, starting the sprinkler on the front lawn, and unloading his camera from the news truck, about 8:00. My wife reminded me to ask him if he could look in on the cats when we go away on our upcoming trip. "I'll catch him in the office next week". I called a "How-ya-doin'" and got the usual "hey, man", back before closing the garage for the night. While I respect his talent and work, I remember him most for being a fair, friendly, honest neighbor. I will always remember him the way I last saw him May 18th.
Your tribute to Chris was huge, and touched me and many other people very deeply. While I know it must have been one of the toughest assignments of your career, I know your love for him, and his for you guaranteed it came straight from your heart.
I'm in utter shock. I was at a board meeting for a cooperative apartment complex I live in with my wife and daughter when a mutual friend of mine and Chris's from the University at Albany in New York told me about Chris's untimely death. I first met Chris living in a lowrise apartment on State Quad at the University at Albany. He was a transfer, like me, from CW Post college. He was a very cool guy and liked to party like the rest of us. We were both in a fraternity, AETT, and we both hated it because we new that the fraternity life was complete bullshit. The piece you guys did for him was heart wrenching. He was always a good person and dedicated. I remember that I got him a job with me at Breugger's bagel store. We were the only 2 idiots that we knew who were working partime to make some extra money while everyone else was sleeping off their hangovers. Evem then though, he knew something about responsibilty. Although I haven't spoken to him in some time, I will surely miss him. It was clear though, that when Chris left us, he was at his most happiest in life and touched so many other lives aswell.
