Mrs. Otis sat on the couch and looked back and forth between the computer screen and my face. The images on the screen represented her bi-weekly paycheck being eaten by the dog then subsequently thrown up on the kid. The look on my face was not unfamiliar. It's a slight flush in the neck, followed by a sigh leaking from my mouth, followed by the words, "Oh, well."
Then she spoke. "So, is that what you people call variance?"
This scene actually played itself out in my living room a couple of weeks ago as I began what I have affectionately come to call the "November Slide." It wasn't until last night that I remembered that every November for the past three years, my game has gone in the crapper. As they say, bad players always remember their wins but forget their losses. I'd chosen to forget, for whatever reason, that November is always a bad month for my game.
As I sat to write out the reasons behind the "November Slide" (by the way, not at all related to the Electric Slide, other than they are two completely irrational and ugly things you'll hear idiots talk about), I decided to read about G-Rob's Card Dead Tilt (CDT). It's little secret that I enjoy reading about G-Rob's failures. I figure if he can make jokes about my hairline, I can take a minute amount of pleasure in his losing a few hundred bucks when he's playing badly.
As usual, G-Rob provided us with a good, introspective reflection on a bad night. Though I like to poke fun, G-Rob is not alone. Of course, we all like to say we are un-tiltable. I've said it more times than I can count. I also used to say, "I like to wait." It took me five years to admit I was lying to myself. I don't like to wait. And, though I am not easily tilted, I am tiltable.
As the "November Slide" continues unabated and my bankroll begins to consult with domestic violence counselors, I thought it might be a good time to expand on G-Rob's seedling of an idea. With that I offer...
The Nearly Comprehensive (but likely quite incomplete) Glossary of Tilt
Tilt--
(1) n. A altered state of mind that adversely affects a poker player's game
(2) v. The act of altering an opponent's mind so that his game is adversely affected
(3) n. A reprehensible and disgusting ESPN drama that was likely written in consult with Russ Georgiev
Bad Beat Tilt--Perhaps the most common form of tilt, Bad Beat Tilt often appears in concert with one's opponent sucking a two-outer. Bad Beat Tilt is often exacerbated by said opponent using the phrase, "I felt it."
Card Dead Tilt--See G-Rob's lengthy definition here.
Stuck Tilt--This tilt appears after having played a lengthy session only to find one's stack is smaller--usually significantly smaller--than it began. Stuck Tilt manifests itself in a common symptom of unfortunate poker play: "Getting Even." (See "Taking a Shot Tilt")
Taking a Shot Tilt--When Stuck Tilt lasts for more than a few sessions (as seen in such recent tales as "November Slide", which is not at all like the song "November Rain" unless you count the screaming that occurs in both), Taking A Shot Tilt walks hand in hand with Stuck Tilt. When under the influence of this kind of tilt, a player decides to play above his normal limit in an effort to win back his losses at a faster rate. Of course, this often results in more losses (see the unwritten and never to be published "Experiment with $50/$100")
Big Blind Defense Tilt--As the masters have taught, big blind defense is an art. When Big Blind Defense Tilt affects a player, one begins to believe an opponent is indiscriminately attacking his or her big blind with trash. A choice is made to defend the big blind, which (being out of posisiton with 73 offsuit), even with a suitable amount of aggression results in ultimate failure and the loss of three more big bets than one would've lost otherwise.
Happy Tilt--Another common form of tilt, Happy Tilt appears in the middle of a profitable or otherwise fun session. Whether a player is winning or simply having fun with his buddies at the table, Happy Tilt can prove to be an unhealthy leak that causes players to "gamboooooool" indiscriminately. Happy Tilt is often made worse by mass consumption of alcohol (See also Whiplash Tilt)
Whiplash Tilt--A form of Hapy Tilt brought on by Whiplash the Dog-Riding Money. This form of tilt first raised its happy head during the 2004 WPBT Holiday Classic.
Fake Tilt--A stategic play aimed at making one's opponent believe one is on tilt, when, in fact, he/she is in complete control on one's faculties. Some scholars warn that Fake Tilt can mysteriously morph into full-blown Real Tilt without warning or explanation.
Red Ass Tilt--A form of tilt that has no explanation. The Missouri Crew co-opted the phrase from the 1985 movie "Moving Violations." It's one of these not-quite-tangible moods. If you accuse a person of having it, they have it by default. They can't deny it. Denying it only makes it a worse case of the Red Ass.
Cackling Wife Tilt--A form of tilt brought on by one's wife laughing heartlessly at your failures and bad luck. For futher information on this topic, see this scholar.
Tommy Tilt--G-Vegas-specific form of tilt, identified by a solid/rockish player finally deciding make a play at a pot and having G-Rob (not in the pot) call his hand and announce it to said rockish player's opponent, inducing a call and a subsequent loss by said rockish/solid player. Tilt is exacerbated by G-Rob's assertion that he really thought he was helping said rockish/solid player.
Alright, I've run out of steam for the moment. Do me a favor an help us out here. If you have a favorite form of tilt, serious or not, leave it in the comments. If we like it, we'll include it--wth credit, of course--in the main body of the post.
Mexican Tilt - When a guy pisses you off at the table and you tell him to step outside to settle this shit. I was put on this tilt this past weekend at the Taj when the old folks at the stud table slow rolled me...not once, but twice. I then proceeded to super-super-slow role them since I couldn't take a 70 year old senior outside and smack him around. I'm going on tilt just writing this.
Posted by: Joaquin Ochoa at November 15, 2005 1:31 PMFat Kid Tilt - Overplaying an ordinarily unplayable hand due to the presence of fried pork.
Fat Kid Tilt can be a direct result of:
a) Smelling bacon cooking on a skillet
b) Hearing bacon cooking on a skillet
c) Seeing a pound of slab cut pepper bacon on a skillet.
d) Someone merely mentioning the word "bacon."
Idiot tilt: A corollary to CDT, it's when your first table in an MTT stacks up on all the dead money while you fold garbage.
Princess tilt: A benign strain one contracts playing PLO at the micro-limit tables with the uber-aggressive maigrey.
Posted by: JoeSpeaker at November 15, 2005 2:16 PMThe Fuck It Tilt- upon loosing a big hand, generally in a tournament, and being left with few chips, pushing with crappy cards because, "Fuck it!"
Chat-Induced Tilt- I actually found myself getting very tilty after a player started dropping anti-black racial slurs on me...because my Avatar was a black man. I'm a white Jew boy. The anger and shame left me confused.
and finally, the
Poop Time Tilt- when you begin to play poorly because you've got to poop.
Posted by: Jordan from HighOnPoker at November 15, 2005 2:21 PMThe Drunky McTilty (sponsored by Southern Comfort) - when we have A4o but because we're seeing double we're betting like we have Pocket Rockets.
Posted by: Easycure at November 15, 2005 2:31 PMThe Inferior Player Success Tilt: Watching the donkey at your table catch cards when you know you're the better player. It makes you force the situation in an attempt to get all his chips when in reality, all you have to do is wait for the opportunity.
Posted by: BadBlood at November 15, 2005 3:01 PMI immediately thought of "monkey-riding-dog" tilt as I scanned down the list - pleased to have seen it already there - "Whiplash Tilt" ... nice goin'
Posted by: Maudie at November 15, 2005 3:42 PMB.Y.O. Tilt - when non-poker issues affect your play
and the related:
Curfew Tilt - playing poker on a schedule but still thinking you need to make some money during the session.
Posted by: biggestron at November 15, 2005 6:54 PMSo, I was going to mention my most common form of tilt after reading G-Rob's previous CDTilt post, when you came along and name it. My nemesis is Happy Tilt. It's partially responsible for me going out 7th in the Shootout in the Desert this past Sunday. I was doing so well, I lost my head on a hand when I knew I was beat. The concept, "I'm running well, I'll suck out." actually went through my head, and before I knew it, I had raised all-in.
I also sometimes get: "I Keep Folding Exactly What Flops Tilt." Of course when you decide to call, it doesn't.
But we must mention a different tilt. Let's call it "Poker Bitch With A Phallus Tilt." I think you've heard of it. It may involve bannanas or cigars or lollipops, but it will put you on tilt.
Posted by: TeamScottSmith at November 15, 2005 6:55 PMI think im famous for the Budweiser tilt-- speaks for its self -- spilage on the table type tilt, all in just so you can leave
or
the Brad-o-ween tilt: just go all in early so you can drink with all you friends.
or
the G-rob tilt: you never no when he is bluffing so you call whatever he bets, sometime you win
Posted by: shep at November 15, 2005 7:00 PMin honour of CJ i offer Hammer Tilt.
definition: hitting a monster hand with the Hammer.
ie - hitting quads with 27o and driving your opponent out of the cardroom immediately upon the hands being shown down.
Hammer Tilt.
i won't bother you with the Implied Hammer Tilt definition.
Posted by: iggy at November 15, 2005 8:21 PMInferior Player Success Tilt Part II: When you make a play at an inferior player, and he plays the hand all wrong, and still beats you.
Dave Westbay
Posted by: yestbay1 at November 15, 2005 9:32 PMCoin-Flip Tilt: The urge to push all of your chips in on a coin-flip after watching a mouth-breather win five straight flips.
This is usually followed by throwing several objects from your desk or whining on IM how you never win a coin-flip.
Posted by: Drizztdj at November 16, 2005 7:41 AMOff the topic of tilt, but...
I happened to get an email from Treasure Island yesterday. It seems that the WNFR (Rodeo) is back in town Dec 1-10. Just in time for our blogger event again...
Do you think Whiplash will be making a return appearance?
Posted by: EvaCanHang at November 16, 2005 9:00 AMBlackjack Tilt (Also known to some as "Craps Tilt", "Baccarat Tilt" or "Big 6 Wheel Tilt").
Taking the bankroll to the table games in an effort to recapture poker losses.
Posted by: Mourn at November 16, 2005 9:12 AMEva: In my world (and any world worth living in) a monkey riding a dog is NEVER off topic.
It appears that Whiplash will indeed be in Vegas during the blogger event. Can anyone say, "MONKEY!"
http://www.whiplashrides.com/schedule.htm
Posted by: Marty at November 16, 2005 9:52 AMWoo hoo Taking A Shot tilt! Gotta love it! Usually follows 2-outer tilt or some other form of doom.. How about permenant tilt? lol.
Posted by: SirFWALGMan at November 16, 2005 10:45 AMAn obvious and timely one:
ESPN Edit Tilt (or Lazar Tilt): Folding what would have been quad aces and getting jiggy shortly(?) thereafter with K9s and QTo.
Posted by: JoeSpeaker at November 16, 2005 11:47 AMBeer Tilt- where you end up grabbing the wrong beer out of the fridge because you need to hurry back to your pc to play the next hand.
Not necessarily a bad tilt as you have beer. Unless it is Bud.
Posted by: StB at November 16, 2005 12:37 PMPee Tilt kills me - probably needs a better name, and usually goes hand in hand with Stuck Tilt, where you have to pee so bad that your eyes are floating, but you don't want to leave the table because the hand that gets you even is coming next - you just KNOW it!
Posted by: Shelly (phlyersphan) at November 16, 2005 1:16 PMTourney to Cash Tilt: playing badly in a home tournament so you can go out early and get into the highly lucrative cash game on the side.
Posted by: Alan at November 16, 2005 7:33 PMRelated to the "I Keep Folding Exactly What Flops Tilt", is the "Flop Behind/Ahead Tilt". When the cards you just held last hand that would be PERFECT for the flop in front of you now.
Posted by: LAYGO at November 17, 2005 10:40 AMI used the Atomic Hammer tilt just recently at .25/.50 NL on PokerStars. It's quite effective.
http://pokerdoctor.blogspot.com/2005/11/atomic-hammer.html
Big Boobie Tilt: Self-explanatory, though perhaps it needs a more grown-up name. Nah, it cracks me up just saying it outloud.
Posted by: DrChako at November 17, 2005 2:47 PMRelated to both the "I Keep Folding Exactly What Flops Tilt" and the "Flop Behind/Ahead Tilt" is the "Multi-tabling tilt". This tilt gets you when mutli-tabling online and the flop on one table is the perfect match for your hole cards on another table.
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